This month’s column will focus on the 80/20 rule.
The 80/20 rule is where you give 80% of your best and allow for 20% imperfection.
For example, my naturopathic doctor used to say eat well 80% of the time and eat not so great the rest of the day/week/month.
I followed that model for years until I decided I wanted to eat right 90% of the time, maybe even 95% if I stretched myself, while still allowing for “fun” and “cheat eats.” (Think salt and vinegar chips, chocolate, ice cream–mostly non-dairy but still…).
80% is a worthy goal in terms of exercising, healthy food choices, and time committed to certain passion projects each day, but what about when it comes to relationships?
Who do you give 80% to but could give more? Your spouse? children? siblings? cousins?
Where are you currently at 80% in your life but want to reach higher?
Where are you giving 80% of yourself but know in your heart that you could give more? What would your relationships look like if you did?
We’re not talking about giving yourself away or giving energy you don’t have to give. This means grabbing a journal, or reflecting on your next walk, and getting really honest with yourself where you are giving 80% and feel good about that fact, excccccept that you know you could give and do more and that this relationship deserves that effort.
Another way to look at it is to think about the scenario where your significant other or work partner or family member or friend was giving you 80%.
How might you feel about that?
This month, think of situations and relationships where you can stretch yourself higher, where you can give more. Maybe, too, it’s about asking others to give you more in a relationship, knowing when you use your voice you are respecting yourself greater than 80% of the time and that by asking you are setting the bar for what you feel you are ready to receive.
With regard to the world at large, we need to give more in order to receive more, to receive better from the world. We need to be the change we seek.
If we want to see a better landscape reflected back to us in the proverbial mirror of our souls, maybe we all need to reflect on where we are operating at 80% and where we could do, say, and be better on a daily, weekly, monthly, lifetime basis.
Enjoy the green, the colorful flowers, and the buds of June still yet to bloom. June brings with it much promise. Plant your seeds….
The following is a tweak on an article I wrote that was recently published in Thrive Global:
Work comes second nature to me.
As an author and therapist, I value putting information out into the world that makes a difference, that helps others to stretch themselves and reach higher in order to live their best lives.
On my part, this requires a daily schedule of getting up early and taking my morning time to exercise and meditate before hitting my work schedule of writing, seeing clients, and most importantly, tending to my own family’s needs on a daily basis so that I am present and not preoccupied.
In walks the pandemic, and I feel the need to be and do even more since I am not a doctor or a nurse or a grocery clerk or any other hero who is out on the front lines, but yet…I am an empath and feel the weight of the world on a regular basis, never mind during this cluster.
As an empath, I feel the call to work harder, to give more of myself, searching for ways to share information and add value, doing my small part to help raise the vibration of the world.
My work fuels me, excites me, propels me and gives me purpose.
It also can deplete me and leave me physically and mentally drained and feeling exhausted if I don’t remember, and honor, my constitution.
If you too are an empath, you know exactly what I mean.
Therefore, in honor of mental health awareness month, consider taking a block of time one afternoon to stop and regroup, to journal and release all that you are feeling and experiencing, where you might feel out of balance and what might need tweaking.
During this chaotic time, with the dizzying feelings of hope and uncertainty, make sure to put the mask on yourself first, so to speak, in order to take better care of others in your life.
This just might become one of your favorite takeaways from this whole situation.
Enjoy the weather, the budding trees, bushes and flowers (especially the lilacs!). Enjoy this new hopeful month of May.
All good things,